vulnerability and so much more

i think i realized that the one thing i fear most is vulnerability. putting yourself out there and knowing that it could come back and bite you in the butt is a big deal, no matter what the situation. and i guess the question is whether you want to stay safe and secure and comfortable or take a risk knowing that maybe it could be better. and whether or not it's worth it.

and while i'm saying all this crap... we always have a lil devotional after practice (if the person doesn't forget) and kelly b. had this quote out of some book she had been reading and it said, "you're not who you think you are; you're not who they think you are; you're who you think they think you are." and i just thought that was so good. because i wish i could go one day without caring the least bit what people think and not caring if i say a stupid joke or embarrass myself.

one last thing... in Sunday School last week (or maybe the week before) Drew asked us why we thought that none of us had ever dated within our group. and he brought up the phrase "Familiarity breeds contempt." the thought that once you become acquainted (or familiar) with someone or something it loses its "specialness" (yes i know thats not a word) and i'd just like to say.... i think that is so completely true.

did i just make myself vulnerable?